Emotional Alchemy
You imagine yourself
responding in kind
but in kind,
respecting your wishes
without guilt,
that you expound your point of view
without trembling.
You imagine yourself
strong and confident in yourself,
quiet
even when criticized.
You imagine yourself
that the attacks
slip away from you
as opinions
that do not concern you.
You imagine yourself
in your own power,
free to express yourself,
guided from within,
not from outside.
But then,
when it’s time to behave
as you had imagined yourself,
something doesn’t work,
your voice doesn’t come out,
the words of others
strike deep inside you,
they make you feel bad.
Anger rises up in you,
sometimes even tears,
and prevent you from communicating
with kindness and assertiveness.
And what comes out
is frustration,
it’s reaction,
it’s defense.
Your message doesn’t come out,
you are not in your power,
even though coldly
you had imagined yourself
another conversation.
You didn’t care about
the opinions of others.
Why on the spot
did they hurt so much?
The reason is
that inside you
an open wound
has been struck
a wound created in childhood,
a trauma in your life.
A wound
that has not been healed,
a trauma
That has not been integrated.
The wound
is an emotion that you have repressed,
it is a blockage of energy
in your emotional body
that has not found expression
and is just waiting
to be heard.
It is still there
to give you a message,
to tell you that you
don’t go treated that way
or that
it was not your fault.
It is hidden
in your subconscious
and it reveals itself
in situations similar
to your original trauma.
Others are mirrors.
The exterior is a mirror of the interior.
You know
that their opinion
should not have the power
To affect you so deeply.
Sometimes you get hurt
even by strangers,
because of a word
you don’t expect.
Then
you begin to take others
for what they are:
as mirrors,
as triggers,
as opportunities for expansion.
When you have failed
to behave
as you wanted to,
when you are left with
a knot in your throat,
look inside yourself
And see where you’ve been hit.
Stay with the emotion
until it
gives you its message.
And the energy block
melts away.
And the stagnant energy,
which has been there for years,
comes out of the body.
This process
has to be repeated
hundreds,
thousands of times.
But I assure you that
this is the way
for your expansion
into the best version
of yourself.
The way
you can transform
the blocks of contracted energy
into waves of many potentials.
Like an alchemist
who turns iron
into gold.
No to spiritual bypass.
Yes to emotional alchemy.
A deep work
within yourself.
You will cry,
you will return to the painful moments
of your life
and maybe you will return to them
over and over again.
I don’t promise you
that it is easy.
But I promise you
that it works.
Because then,
at some point,
the patterns change,
and you stop behaving
the way you’ve always done,
you stop getting hit
for things
that used to hurt you.
The you you imagined
will be the same
that you will implement at the moment.
Because the attacks
will not find fertile ground
to hurt you,
and indeed you realize
that they are not even attacks,
and instead of reacting
from the open wound,
you will respond
with kindness but firmly,
without guilt,
without trembling.
Because your wound
has been alchemized
and you know
that your truth
Is worthy of being expressed
and respected.
And you are finally free
to be yourself,
the authentic self
and expanded,
free from blocks
And open wounds.
